college gonna start in just a few more days. can i keep my optimism there? i have far too many insecurities and i’ve grown to be quiite a cynical person. but folk songs never failed to soothe me. when i first came to ipg, i cried. now, well, not anymore since i have many things i look forward to spend my time with in ipg. i really dont know how im gonna make college life interesting. i think the only way is to look at it in a positive way.
i am already good enough. that i should always bear in mind.
“If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing.
If you don’t have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.”—Ann Landers via lovelyasadream (via quote-book)
i went out with my old friends yesterday. it was fun. i realized my old friends are very different from my college friends. my college friends are those you could say confident, aggressive, sporty,organized and opinionated. my old friends are girlish, bubbly, clumsy,carefree and gentle. both of them are loud and honest in their own ways and are a lot of fun to hang around with. they would totally cancel each other out. and i love all of them. my old friends remind me of who i am most of the time. my college friends give me some sort of a challenge and taught me to be myself and be more responsible of my own life. all of them are great friends, with different priorities. i love my friends =)
I've heard it a million times. "You can do better. You deserve so much more." In reality, you're right. But sometimes when you love, you love the person for who they are despite what they've done wrong to you. That's what love does to you. It's not about who you deserve, it's about who you want, who you need, and who you love.
I'm scared I won't add up to your expectations. I'm not perfect, I'm not gorgeous, I don't have the prettiest smile or the most banging body. I'm not going to be cute every second of the day & I'm not always going to look my greatest. I'm not always going to know the right thing to say & the right time to say it. I am very emotional & I do have pretty bad moodswings. I usually over react over dumb little things & cry over nothing. I'm afraid I won't add up to your ex girlfriend, but I am willing to try my hardest. I get jealous but that only proves that I care enough not to lose you. I make assumptions & I will argue until I get my point across. I'm impatient, insecure & at times, selfish - but I'm trusting you with something that I know you can break. I'm going to trust you with everything I've got & put my heart out for everyone to see. I'm going to accept you for the person you are & love you for the person you help me to be. so if you choose to love me, then love me for me - for who I am, for what I hope to become, for the drama that you're going to have to go through & for the flaws I come with.
“I loved to read and to listen to music. I’d always liked books and reading, and my interest in these had been fostered by friendship with Shimamoto. I started to go to the library, devouring every book I could lay my hands on. Once I began a book, I couldn’t put it down. It was like an addiction; I read while I ate, on the train, in bed until late at night, in school, where I’d keep the book hidden so I could read during class. Before long I bought a small stereo and spent my time holed up in my room, listening to jazz records. But I had almost no desire to talk with anyone about the experience I gained through books and music. I felt happy just being me and no one else.”—South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami (via thechocolatebrigade)
“Before you do anything, think. If you do something to try and impress someone, to be loved, accepted or even to get someone’s attention, stop and think. So many people are busy trying to create an image, they die in the process.”—Salma Hayek (via marchelinn) (via happythings)
college gonna start just one more week and i cant really say that im prepared. i am easily agitated in places im not really comfortable with. i know i should make my college my second home since im gonna be studying there for 5 long years but it takes time.
i think this holiday is the best so far ‘cause of the late nite conversations with hubby each time before i go to sleep. sure we fight sometimes but that shows our love and concern for each other, besides getting rid of my numbness and my usual indifference. i also went out with my college mates a few times and i feel really comfortable with them (during the holidays at least). they are very warm and friendly people. thank god i have them as my classmates. but i am still awkward in class. that would probably never change =.=”.EVER. *sigh*
i bought a few things for college..and it felt so hard ‘cause i used my own money. gonna ask my dad for some pocket money later on.
my resolution for new year? oh yeah i’ve been thinking about it. im gonna be more organized next year! and im thinking of things i could do in college other than lying in bed or surfing the web after class. i mean goddammit it’s so boring!